Best Position Part 2

Picture taken at Phi-Phi resort, Bataan

Me and Us

As newly married couple, there would be a complete transition stage from “me” to “us”. This applies only to couples who have not cohabited yet before the marriage. Although there would still be a virtual personal space for individuality, entering marriage is also agreeing to let go of the “me” mindset and let the “us” thinking prevail.

This does not necessarily say that you will no longer be yourself but rather accept the responsibility of looking after your partner and the possibilities of caring for your future children. But having the “us” thinking doesn’t conform to possessiveness. One should respect the other partner and keep enough space and privacy for each other to become better individuals. This privacy however should be bounded by fidelity and trust. As an officemate told me, privacy would maintain an air of mystery to spice up the relationship.

Raising Children

Photo taken during Read-to-be-Smart volunteer program

Partners usually agree on rearing children before marriage. This would spare you from awkward moments during honeymoon. But if the wife conceived prior to marriage, raising a child should be the primary concern of the newlyweds. Agreement should encompass the economical, emotional, physical, and spiritual state of the family. As the seminar on Family planning says, it is best to plan the number of children to ensure the welfare and well-being of not only the children but of the entire family.

As tipped by the speaker during our seminar. A child learns by example. So parents should be ready to become role models of what they wanted their children would become in the future. Start training yourself even before the children comes. This way, you will imbibe the habit in your everyday living.

Money Matters

Photo courtesy www.mindmillion.com

Here comes the most difficult part. The question as to who will take control of the finances of the family. This question is particularly tough if future bride and groom are both earning. Let’s say, the groom earns more than the bride or vice versa. Who will take charge?

The answer is simple. The one who will take charge is the more capable of doing so. Traditions would suggest that women usually do the budget allocation as part of the household responsibilities. But nowadays, men are getting the obsessive compulsive gene, too. So the choice remains for the couple to decide who can better handle the economic well-being of the family.

As newlyweds, it is the right time to think on investments. Do not think of buying a house if you can’t afford yet. If you have just enough money, try investing in a business, mutual funds or special deposit savings. Read our article here on possible investment after marriage. Do not splurge on buying expensive kitchen wares if you can live with the ones you previously have. Practice delayed gratification. Date with your husband at home. Watch HBO and munch on homemade chips and salsa.

Once you have enough savings and buffer for emergency cases, that’s the time you start buying your dream houses and dream cars.

Photo courtesy of www.swatswot.com

So now that everything is set. Newlyweds can simply go with the flow and proceed with the daily routine of marital bliss. Again, there is no accepted standard in preparing for family life but it is up to the individuals involved to make sure that both are ready to enter the complicated world of marriage.

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